The Charger Blog
This ValentineӰԭs Day, Beatrice Glaviano Ӱԭ26 discusses the importance of self-love and happiness, whether one is single or in a relationship. She encourages her fellow Chargers to take good care of themselves, regardless of if they celebrate ValentineӰԭs Day.
February 13, 2024
Roses are red, violets are blue, the body part superficial to the neck is the head, and Ӱԭ uhhhhhhh Ӱԭ looks like IӰԭm still a nerd, too.
Hey everyone, and welcome to todayӰԭs blog! Today (when IӰԭm writing this) I have already fallen victim to the beauty of the world. I donӰԭt know what it is, but there is nothing better than waking up with the sun speckled about your skin and the smell of freshly made coffee wafting through the apartment. (And the fresh flowers IӰԭd received at 1 this morning, haha).
Looking back, I realized that as January was coming to a close, I think I was too. Looking back at past articles, I was pretty stuck in a stagnant energy that did not nourish my mental, emotional, or physical health in the slightest.
But here came February and her sweeping romance, and I find myself feeling alive again.
ValentineӰԭs Day has always been a fickle subject to approach. I remember back when I was in elementary school how simple it was. The classroom always smelled like cardstock and over-processed candy, and I remember how easy it was to show others appreciation even if I didnӰԭt know them quite well. I had always wanted to make friends, and this holiday allowed me to reach out and remind people that they are cared about, and that I would like to care about them because I wanted to. Back then, it didnӰԭt matter if your handwriting was going through puberty or if the candy you got wasnӰԭt their favorite. It was the fact that we all thought to ourselves, ӰԭHey, I made this for you because I care about your existence.Ӱԭ
And then you grow up, and see the world for what it is, and can be.
People could be mean, and they were. Back in my first year of high school, people asked me out as a joke because I wasnӰԭt really a size four, now was I? Many people joke about ValentineӰԭs Day being ӰԭSingle Awareness DayӰԭ Ӱԭ which is totally fine and one can be single very happily Ӱԭ but I feel as though there is always a certain undertone of spiteful sadness that goes along with that.
I think everyone reading this knows what IӰԭm talking about when I say that.
It is very, very human to project our pain, or at least make a joke out of it. If we can provide some sort of value to a deficit we have, then perhaps itӰԭs not as bad to have after all.
Right? No, not really.
It is very human to not want to be alone. ItӰԭs the prick in your chest that you get when your friendӰԭs dog likes everyone but you or that you were the only one to do poorly on a test that the rest of the class somehow aced that reminds us how much we value being equal to others. Last year, when I was freshly out of a relationship Ӱԭ and I say ӰԭfreshlyӰԭ in the sense that I felt like the outer skin of a raw onion being peeled off and thrown away Ӱԭ I remember looking at couples walking down the road or in coffee shops or sharing a muffin or something of the like and thinking:
I want that.
I was mesmerized at how simple love could be.
So, I made one of the biggest decisions of my emotional life: to stop chasing. I realized that if I was going to go through this life, I was going to be me whole-heartedly and heavily unapologetically. I was going to be so myself Ӱԭ all the wheeze laughing, the nerdiness, the tears cried over poetry (the line Ӱԭthe wind still moves a dead birdӰԭs feathers" had me weeping at 11 p.m.), the sarcastic remarks and witty tongue, the blunt honesty Ӱԭ all of it. IӰԭd been taught from an early age what a strong personality gets you, and you know what?
Bring it. People are going to say what theyӰԭre going to say, and yӰԭknow what? ThatӰԭs fine with me. Say your words, and I bet I can come up with one heck of a response (or lack thereof).
At this point, I use my personality as a natural repellant. If people cannot handle or simply do not like the way I live my life, thatӰԭs fine: they donӰԭt have to be a part of it, and thatӰԭs totally fine with people. I prefer quality over quantity anyways, as there is no point to surrounding yourself with many people who do not enhance your life.
Friendships, in my opinion, should never be forced. I am the type of person who will tug the line a few times to see if it will go taut, but if there is nothing pulling back, I let it go. I donӰԭt have the time or energy to chase after those who donӰԭt care. Likewise, I do not do what I call Ӱԭquid pro quoӰԭ friendships.
ӰԭYou do something for me, I do something for youӰԭ is something I find alarming in terms of friendship. ThatӰԭs not true camaraderie; thatӰԭs a business arrangement.
In the wise words of my mom: ӰԭLove should never be difficult.Ӱԭ And sheӰԭs right.
Speaking of, actually, IӰԭm throwing a birthday party for one of my friends and IӰԭm genuinely so freakinӰԭ excited to do so. Obviously, IӰԭm not going to say everything that IӰԭm planning to do in this entry should she find it, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I will include what she does know:
What I found kinda funny was when I asked, ӰԭHey, what ice cream would you like?Ӱԭ Ӱԭ because obviously both ice cream and cake must be sacrificially offered at oneӰԭs aging day Ӱԭ they looked at me like I had four heads.
ӰԭThatӰԭs an option???Ӱԭ They asked me.
I was puzzled. ӰԭYes?????Ӱԭ
So, now I will be going to the C-Store at one point and getting a pint of vanilla and mint chocolate chip ice cream. Woot woot.
Circling back to the topic that is ValentineӰԭs Day (or as mentioned, ӰԭSingle Awareness DayӰԭ) I want to remind you all, my audience, that whatever stage of your life that youӰԭre in Ӱԭ single, not single, kinda single but also not Ӱԭ that it is very okay, and also very normal. Our lives are ever-changing, but the most important part of that change is you. This is your life and altering yourself to fit some sort of societal mold or someone elseӰԭs expectations isnӰԭt the way to go about it.
While the holiday is traditionally about romantic love, it may also be a day when love is shown toward oneself through Philautia, or the Greek term for Ӱԭlove of oneself.Ӱԭ
Take yourself out on a date. Even if youӰԭre in a relationship, take the time to treat yourself by yourself. Go to your favorite coffee shop or nail salon, get what you want, and enjoy every single second of it. I donӰԭt want to say you shouldnӰԭt rely on your partner to have fun or be shown affection (and reciprocate those things), but as IӰԭve learned and re-learned quite often:
At the end of the day, itӰԭs you. You determine the level of self-care you give yourself, the habits you create, and ultimately, the life that you live and the mindset you live it in. Love yourself as hard as you can. Like a hug, make it warm, make it strong, and moreover, do it in a way that leaves you wanting more.
If youӰԭre not feeling like a self-date is your ValentineӰԭs Day vibes, no worries! HereӰԭs a cute little list of some other fun ideas:
Of course, use these ideas as a reference. If youӰԭd prefer that the holiday not exist at all, do that (and I applaud your ability to do so, as ValentineӰԭs Day can catch you off guard in the middle of January like some cupid-based boogeyman).
For those who are in relationships, or ӰԭsituationshipsӰԭ (which are neither single nor not-single pringles, but stuffed oreos), my best advice is to enjoy yourselves. Simply that. No need to overthink anything; just be. IӰԭm not a huge person when it comes to labels Ӱԭ it makes me feel uncomfortable Ӱԭ but something I often remind myself is:
A ӰԭlabelӰԭ doesnӰԭt take anything away from something, nor does it change it. What we often donӰԭt consider is that labels change just as we do. A relationship Ӱԭ while being designated as a relationship by definition Ӱԭ will forever be in the process of changing, because people, love, emotions, situations, etc., are forever morphing and developing across time.
Just something to keep in mind. Keep things fun, keep it fresh, and most importantly: be yourselves, always. Never, ever be afraid of being yourself around someone you love, as thatӰԭs what they love about you the most:
You.
Anyhow, I hope everyone is having a good week so far, and that weӰԭre able to stay grateful for the love that we do have in our lives. The love for your pets, classes, friends, family, artwork, music, the feeling of sunlight on your bare skin Ӱԭ anything and everything that you feel enhances your life in one way or another. Stay grounded, everyone, and stay kind. Wishing you all the best, and if anyone would like to provide some feedback on my articles, feel free to fill out , okay?
Okay.
Alright everyone, take care, and as always:
Peace, love, and peanut butter.
Beatrice
Beatrice Glaviano Ӱԭ26 is a nutrition sciences major at the University of New Haven.
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